When You Loose Someone
by ShaunaChe
Summary: Charlie's brother Liam finds out about the plane's dissapearance. Meanwhile, his daughter, Megan, is having wierd dreams. Can she bring her father some peace? NEW CHAPTER, Charlie comes to finish a few things with Liam, but how does he do it.
1. Default Chapter

Megan was playing in the backyard again, getting sand all over the teddy bear she'd gotten two Christmas' ago. Liam knew he should be watching her, with his wife away he was the responsible one. _Responsible one, I didn't even try hard enough to help my own brother!_ He knew he'd let go of Charlie too soon. Heck, he KNEW how hard it was to kick the habit when you were a junkie. Even with nearly dying to give you serious drive to do so didn't make it easier. He'd let Charlie walk away from him, just like he'd walked away from Charlie all those years ago. Well, not all those years, but it felt like it.

Back then he'd been the junkie and Charlie was the Church-going, music-loving person. _Charlie made the choice to start and not stop_. He tried to tell himself, watching Megan build a castle out of sand, laughing cheerfully. Yet, his wife always said that sometimes a person's choice couldn't be divorced from the pressures applied to them.

_ He wanted to be just like me, because then I would accept him and we could be brothers again_. Liam realized, his reflection in the sliding glass door staring accusingly at him. He couldn't even remember too much of his time with Driveshaft, sometimes he couldn't remember the words to the song 'You All Everyone'. He did remember telling his brother in the Church that he would be rock god, and then, on a drug high, crushing that hope in the harshest manner possible.

_ Maybe I can still get him back_, Liam thought. The phone was nearby, hanging on the wall. As soon as he had the telephone book, he dialed the number.

"Hello, Sydney International Airport," a female voice answered.

"I'd like to find a Charlie Essex, please," Liam said.

"We are not allowed to give out information to strangers."

"I'm his brother."

"One moment please."

It seemed a lot longer then a moment to Liam, but finally the woman returned. "Charlie Essex is on Flight 147 on its way to Los Angeles, California USA."

"Thank you, Miss," Liam said, for some reason feeling like a cloud had covered the sky.

"Have a nice day," she said in syrupy voice.

"You too," Liam answered.

Megan was waving to him from the sandbox her voice came faintly through the glass door, "Daddy, Daddy, look what I made!"

He forced a smile to his lips and readjusted his glasses, which some of the kids in the neighborhood said made him look like Harry Potter. At least Harry was still British.

Sliding the door open, he ran outside and began to play with Megan, hoping this would drive his sudden turn of feelings around.

He succeeded until dinnertime, when his wife came back from work with some chicken, potatoes, biscuits, gravy, and cauliflower. His wife was chipper about her job at the police station, she was a secretary there, and filled his ears with tales of would-be felons.

"Hey, you know that man I told you about, the one who died in the alley of a drug overdose?"

"What about him?"

"Well, I heard from the coroner that some American guy came in and claimed him as his father. Took him to the airport soon afterward trying to get a plane back to America," she said.

"He'll have a hard time getting his father's coffin on a plane."

His wife just shrugged, "If they can transport a fugitive from the law they can transport a dead body. They're taking that Kate I told you about back for her trial."

"Find out what she did?"

She shook her head, "either no one knows or people aren't willing to talk. I'm just a secretary, not a cop."

"I put a stop to that didn't I," Liam smiled.

"It's not every day a lady has an ex-rock god sweep her off her feet," she smiled back, but her look faded when she saw the expression on Liam's face.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I used to call Charlie that," Liam answered. "He came here today. Said that Driveshaft's been signed onto a tour, or it would be if I would resume my position as lead singer."

"What did you tell him?"

"What do you think I told him? That I couldn't leave my wife and child, and I couldn't take them on tour, so I wasn't going."

"Do you still want too?"

"No, it's just.....he's still a junkie Clarissa. I offered him help, but I didn't try hard enough. I let him get away, go take a flight to Los Angeles and continue going down the drain!" Liam let it all spill out.

"Did you call to see if you could find him at the airport?"

"Yes, but his plane had already left, Flight 147 I think it was," Liam responded.

Clarissa smiled and said in voice that sounded forced, "Well I'm sure we can scrape up enough to get up to Los Angeles for an intervention."

Liam wasn't dumb; he knew that something was wrong. "What is it?"

She bowed her head, "Flight 147 vanished over the South Pacific Islands. The sonar we have indicates that it broke apart, but we can't find out where it was when it did so. The information isn't coming through."

"It vanished," there was a scrape as Liam scooted his chair away from the table. In the next room the sound of the Cartoon channel sounded tinny and false. "That's not possible."

"I'm afraid it is," Clarissa answered, "I can get you the list of people on the plane just to check though."

Liam bowed his head, "you don't need to, I already know."

Rising, Clarissa came over to hold her husband as he wept. The sound brought his daughter in from the television. She raised her hands up, distraught at the sight of her father crying. "What happen?"

"Uncle Charlie is gone, Megan."

"Uncle Charlie lost?"

"Yes, Uncle Charlie is lost."

Suddenly, Liam realized that you don't truly know the worth of something until you lose it.

It had been a week since the disappearance of Flight 147. No wreckage had been found, and no bodies recovered. They had vanished as mysteriously as Amelia Earhart had years ago. In that time Liam had taken a job teaching music lessons in the house, while his wife, Clarisse kept an ear out for any information she could find. From that point too there was no news, and gradually life went on.

Liam never spoke about Driveshaft, never about their hit single, and very little about Charlie. The only person he ever mentioned them to was his wife, but that was becoming less as well. Life went on, as it always does.

As his last student left, Liam felt a tug on his shirt. Megan was standing there with a drawing in her hand. Smiling, Liam looked at it, not able to figure out what the lines and stick figures were.

"What is this Megan?"

"An island," she answered smiling.

"Australia," Liam asked, trying to discern the country from the outline.

Megan shook her head, flipping her long curls in her eyes, "island in my dreams."

"What's this figure?"

"Uncle Charlie," Megan replied, she pointed to a yellow and black shape, "that's a bee."

"Charlie doesn't like bees," Liam answered.

"They stinging bees," she answered.

"Charlie really doesn't like them," he glanced at the other people, "who are these others?"

"That Hunter," Megan answered, "he hunts pig."

"Delightful," Liam answered, "who's this?"

"Big Lady has baby inside."

Liam was stumped; they'd never mentioned to Megan how babies were made.

"Yes, I can see that."

"Lady likes Uncle Charlie."

"Whatever you say dear," Liam straightened up, picture still in hand. "Megan, what made you draw this?"

"My dreams," Megan answered. "I watch in my dreams, sometimes Uncle Charlie comes, sometimes others. They don't see me, I hide."

"Do you see other's besides these three?"

Megan nodded. "They live on island after plane crash."

"Do you know where this island is?"

Megan shook her head.

"Well, I'd say it was just the child's way of grieving," Clarissa said as soon as Liam had told her that night. "Kid's are imaginative. She does live on an island, and she did just loser her uncle. Don't put it down as more then it is."

"I'm trying not too, but how did she know that babies are inside their mothers?"

"Her best friends mother was pregnant a short while ago, she probably learned it over there. Honestly Liam, I know your grieving but believing wild stories is something else."

Liam sighed, "I guess I wish I could see him just one more time."

"You'll see him someday," his wife said has he drifted off to sleep.

"Daddy," there was a tugging on his arm, he opened his eyes and saw Megan standing beside him. The air was muggy, humid and warm. Behind his daughter was a lush green jungle. "Daddy, wake up. My island."

"This is your island sweet heart?"

"Yes," Megan said, "I brought you with me. Come on, come and see."

Taking his hand, she lead him off the bed and into the depths of the jungle. They walked until they came to a small cave area, ringed by trees with a small stream at the opening. Liam could see people there, and some plane wreackage too. Then out of the caverns came Charlie.

He looked like he was going through hell. His eyes were shadowed, his hands shook, and he obviously didn't feel well. Still, he moved over towards a woman who was very clearly pregnant. Handing her a water bottle and sitting down by her side, taking out his guitar has he did so. Liam could see tape across his knuckles, tape with writing on it, and he smiled.

"We can't go down there Daddy," Megan moved to hold him back, though Liam was conscious he'd stepped forward. "They don't know we're here."

Charlie began to play, going slowly so his shaking hands wouldn't mess him up too badly. The pregnant lady lay against him for support and smiled. Once a tall man with a weathered face came by and seemed to silently ask if Charlie was alright. Charlie made an OK symbol and kept on playing.

"He looks happy," Liam said, "well as happy as a drug addict going through withdrawal can be."

"Time to go," Megan said, pulling her father away, "time to go."

Liam opened his eyes to the ceiling of his bedroom. His wife was curled against him and his daughter was most definitely in her own room. It had all been a dream, or had it? Everything had looked so real in the jungle, even the plane wreak looked too authentic to be a dream. Had he really seen Charlie again? Had he really been told that his brother was alright? Or was it all just a fantasy?

"There are somethings I just have to believe are real."


	2. Visitation Rights

Time did strange things when you were trapped on an island with 47 people, but nothing to really do. Not that there weren't jobs, but it wasn't like the outside world. A world where someone like Jack would have probably only seen Kate on the television news, or Claire would only walk by Charlie grabbing another fix. Here, though, here everyone came into contact with those that might not have in the outside world.

_And the ones you want contact with, are too far away_... Charlie mused as he stumbled over the chords on his guitar. He'd been thinking a lot about Liam after going in after Jack. He wasn't really certain why that was, maybe it was his remark to the group trying to free Jake that he had no one on the island to take care of.

He knew the reason he had gotten so angry with his brother before getting on the plane. He was angry at Liam for not "looking out of his little brother", and jealous of him for kicking the habit and gaining a wonderful wife and daughter. Why did Liam have to get everything? He'd had the glory in DriveShaft! He'd gotten a wonderful family! All Charlie had gotten was a spiraling hole that only heroin could fill.

He was beginning to tremble again, and his muscles and joints hurt so much he felt like his grandfather. Even though he was shivering, he felt like he was in the middle of a furnace he was so hot. Sweat stung his eyes, and his lungs labored for breath.

_In, out, in, out, in, out, sheesh, my bloody heart sounds like drum! _His guitar fell from hands, unable to hold it, but Charlie didn't hear it. He had the weird sensation that he was falling into himself as the world began to spiral around in confusion. His stomach twisted, as he began to feel sick.

He couldn't hear the confusion around him. Didn't see Hurley pull the guitar away just as his dinner came up, or that Jack and Locke were trying to make it through the crowd. All he could do was curl up as much as his protesting body would allow, close his eyes, and think _God just let me die now_! Eventually, his mind couldn't handle it anymore, and Charlie slipped down unconsciously to the forest floor.

_Where am I_? Charlie felt something cool and polished below him, something that was too even to be the floor of the cave. Slowly, he rose to his feet and opened his eyes. He was in a darkened hallway! There was light colored paper on the walls and splashes of moonlight coming through the open doors from the rooms beyond. _This is most definitely not the island? How did I escape it though?_

He glanced down at himself, and nearly yelled in surprise at the sight of being able to see through his body. He raised his hand up in front of his face and peered through it to the wallpaper beyond. _Am I dead? _Slowly, Charlie turned to the table beside him and touched it. His hand didn't go through the table. _I don't think I'm dead. Besides, I doubt that if I were dead I'd been in a house._ _Hold on a moment..._he thought, noticing a picture on the table. Picking it up he stared at the three people it portrayed; Liam and his wife and child. _I'm in Liam's home in Australia_. Looking around he saw the stairs, and began to climb them, suddenly desiring to see Liam one more time.

"Charlie," Jack called, trying to wake him up. They'd gotten him into the caves and into warmer clothes. Fortunately, the other's still thought it was a very bad flu, and not a detox. Charlie however remained limp and unresponsive.

"It's like talking to a rag-doll," one of the other survivors put in as she rolled up some sheets to place under Charlie's head.

"I know that," Jack snapped in exasperation. "Someone go into my cave and grab the suitcase of medicine. The rest of you clear out of here, I need room to work."

"Wait," Locke ordered, coming inside, "you and you, he pointed to the woman who had mad the observation and Hurley, stay outside in case we need you to go get something."

As the other's cleared out, the two sentries took their position and someone delivered Jack's medicine suitcase, Locke joined the doctor by Charlie's side. "I doubt those drugs are going to do anything."

"Do you know which drug he was using," Jack asked.

"Heroin," Locke answered.

"Opiate depressant," Jack frowned, "brain can't make it's own pain-blockers anymore. Can't give him a stimulant, not out like he his."

"If the brain doesn't have pain-blockers, it might have just shut down."

"He's not brain dead, Locke. If he were he'd be dead, we don't have any machines to keep comatose patients alive."

"That's not what I meant, there's more to a life then just the brain and body."

"What does the spirit have anything do to with this?"

"This is the worse attack Charlie's had, and it might have been enough to give a boost to some, um, astral projection."

Jack just shook his head, "if you are right, what do I do?"

"Wait, and make sure Charlie keeps breathing," Locke answered

"Wonderful," Jack responded.

The door to his brother's bedroom was closed. How many times had his brother slammed it shut in his face? That time was now, however. Now Charlie wanted in, and he wasn't going to let a closed door stop him. _I didn't let a three feet of earth from keeping me inside a cave, and I'm not going to let a one inch door keep me out of a room_. He opened it slowly.

Light spilled onto the sleeping forms in the bed. On the right lay Liam's wife, one arm curled around the pillow the other holding onto their little girl. Her dark hair lay spread out on the pillow. On the other side, facing away from his family lay Liam. Charlie could see his glasses on the bedside table and smiled. He walked into the room and slowly shut the door behind him. Quietly, he walked over to Liam's side of the bed and stood there, watching his brother sleep.

It wasn't long before Liam woke, slowly and in stages. He knew there was a difference in the room, and he felt like he was being watched, but he had no clue what had awakened him. The light and shadow blurred together without his glasses on.

"Hello Liam, the rock-god is here," Charlie said, with a smirk on his face.

"Charlie? God I must be dreaming again," Liam answered, sitting up with his back against the head-board, trying to fix his glasses around his ears.

"Would you stop blaspheming, it doesn't fit the new you," Charlie answered, still smiling.

Liam's mouth fell open, "you're...you're....."

"I came by for a visit. As soon as (i_f)_ I get back to the island I'm going to tell everyone else how to take a little spiritual jaunt," Charlie answered, thoroughly enjoying the look on his brother's face.

"You're not dead?"

"Well, a few minutes ago I was wishing I was dead. Let me tell you, detox on an island is bloody painful."

"You really are on an island?"

Charlie didn't know how to answer that. He had no clue how his brother could have figured that out. "What?"

"Megan, she's been saying you were on an island. We thought she was just imagining things. Well, my wife did, but..."

"You wanted to believe her."

"I wanted to see you one more time," Liam began.

Charlie laughed, "Why'd you want to do that?"

"To tell you I was sorry for what I did to you, how rotten I was," Liam said.

Sobering, Charlie laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, "Just try and live your life. Jake says that within the next three days I'll start getting better. I've got a lady I care about, and, well, people who care about me."

"You aren't coming back?" Liam asked.

Somehow, as soon as Liam asked that question Charlie knew that none of the survivors would ever make it off the island. They would never be found, and never see their families again, except like this. He smiled, sadly at this realization and shook his head, "not alive Liam, no I'll never come back."

Then Charlie turned and walked out of the room, vanishing before Liam's eyes.

"He's waking up," Jack called, has Charlie's breathing got better and he finally opened his eyes. He glanced at Jake's smiling face, then at Locke's more serious one.

"What happened?" he asked, voice nearly a whisper.

"You happened," Locke answered, "you passed out on us."

"I did? I thought I was at Liam's house," Charlie said.

"Here, drink this," Jack gave Charlie some spring water, "you were sweating so badly I'm afraid you got dehydrated."

"Can't move, don't have any strength," Charlie complained.

"Just rest Charlie," Jack said, "that's all you need to do."

"Thank you Jack," Charlie said.

"What for?"

"For caring about me," Charlie answered, as he drifted off into a deep slumber.

"He'll probably sleep for a very long time," Locke said.

"I'll bring Claire in here with him," Jack said, "he's always been around Claire when I've seen her."

Locke nodded, and rose, "I suggest the good doctor get some sleep too."

Jack just smiled and returned Locke's nod, "yes sir."


End file.
